– [Rooney] Dear Stephanie, you're off at college now, but I wanted you to know thatfrom the first time I saw you, I held on to every first.
From the first time Isat next to you in class.
– [Rooney] To the firsttime I made you laugh, like really laugh.
And the first time we went tothe arcade and I let you win.
You were the first personthat gave me confidence.
And the first person I truly trusted.
The first time we held hands and the first time we said I love you.
From the first time we kissedto the last time I saw you.
I cherished every moment.
Love always, Rooney.
PS, here's somethingfor your next adventure.
– [Narrator] Give Extra, get Extra.
(percussive music) – Each of you have made poorchoices that have led you here.
I want two pages about whatyou've done and learned.
I expect it to be thoughtful and legible.
What is it, Miss Fitzroy? – Do you want MLA citations? – For a personal essay? – Yeah.
I'll have to quote a Greekmoral philosopher, obviously.
– That'll be fine.
Once you've finished, you can sit silently andreflect on your behavior.
(laughs) I'm just playing with you guys.
Everybody makes mistakes.
I'll see in a few hours.
♪ We fly so high, we fly together ♪ ♪ Fly together ♪ ♪ We are a girl gang ♪ ♪ Like birds of a feather, birds of a feather ♪ ♪ We fly so high, we fly together ♪ ♪ We are a girl ganglike birds of a feather ♪ ♪ Birds of a feather ♪ – Hey, we got your 911 text.
– Yeah, what's wrong? – I can't do this.
This homework is gonna kill me.
– Your homework? Dude, we thought somethingwas actually wrong.
– It is! I have to write five pages on”Little Woman” before Monday or Mr.
is gonna flunk me.
– Can't you just read the book? – I tried.
It's just not fun.
– I got my dad to cancelhis plans to drive us here.
I even promised to mow the lawn because your homework isn't fun? – You guys don't understand.
My mom is so mad at me.
She won't make any of my favorite foods.
She even threatened the skate trip.
– Are you serious? – She'd still take us though, right? – She won't go throughwith that, obviously.
That's like child abuse, butshe's been so mean lately.
Like look, apples and celery.
That's not even a real snack.
– Hey PK.
What are you doing here? I thought you were supposedto be with your boys? – Well, I mean, we're supposed to meet up, but they're running a little late.
Well, how late is late? – An hour.
– An hour? Why don't you ditch those losers and hang out with me instead.
– I could use a break fromthis college applications, so it works.
– You know, PK.
If I've learned anything, it's that quality of friends is more important than quantity.
– What does that mean? – It means that beforeI got into my accident, I pushed a lot of people away, but my true friends stuck by my side.
I'm just saying it's soworth it to find people that'll stick it out for you.
– But I don't know how.
– Well have you found anyonethat you've hit it off with? – Well, there was thisone girl named Claire.
– A girl, huh? Okay, well, I'm gonna get us pastries and then you're gonnatell me all about Claire.
– Simone has to pay.
We need a plan.
– Another plan.
How about we make them pay at regionals? – Will you guys shut up? We're supposed to be quietand I'm trying to work.
– Oh, sorry.
I didn't realize Mr.
put you in charge.
He didn't, so mind your business.
– Can't believe I have tobe here with such imbeciles.
– You think just because you're a Fitzroy, you don't deserve to be in detention? No one forced you to cheat, princess.
– I was helping my partner.
I thought he actually liked me.
I didn't know he wouldturn out to be such a jerk and have such poor taste in women.
(celery crunches) – What do the fates ofthe March Sisters say about women in society? That's a softball.
– I don't know anything about women, except that they like me.
– Dude, come on.
– Well, how about Laurie'sis stupid name for a boy and Jo's a stupid name for a girl? – Interesting take, butnot sure you can get five pages from it.
– Well, I don't know, help me.
– If we could do this, you can do this.
– That's a good idea.
Do you think you canpull up your assignment just as a thought starter? – You're kidding me, right? You know Claire's indetention for this right now.
– We'll it's her faultfor blowing our cover.
It's not like I forced her to do anything.
– No one forced you to cheat.
You're the reason he hasn'tlearned anything all semester.
– Why is it that girls always get punished when boys take advantage? Just like my lazy ancestor.
– I was your partner and Idon't remember getting any help.
– Oh, I see, Harmony.
I guess when you were usingme in your stupid schemes, I was supposed to bedoing your homework too.
– How many times I have to apologize? I made a mistake.
Just like you.
– Funny how you've been doing that a lot.
– Whoa, what's that supposed to mean? – Nothing.
– You can't just say thatand then say nothing.
– You really want to go there? – You dragged us here.
We're here because of you.
– Well, look around.
We're all here because of your meddling.
You were there when the Appeal went down.
You were also partners with Claire and helped start dramabetween her and Bel.
And then let Bel think it wasokay to sneak into Millwood.
I mean, come on.
Of course, it's not gonna end well.
– So video game break? – We haven't even started.
– You're smarter than you realize.
You just need a strong opinion on what the book says about women.
How did the sisters end up? – Well, Meg marries for loveand ends up broke and sad.
Amy marries for money and is happy.
And Jo marries this dude named Bear and becomes rich because of Aunt March.
So she's saying womenneed money to be happy.
– Dude, no.
You really think Marmee, the best woman of all time, would really teach her daughters that? – Marmee also sent her kidsout in winter to give food to poor people.
And look what happened to Beth.
– It sounds like you read the book.
– My mom wouldn't let me playvideo games till I finished.
It was pretty good, actually.
– Look, about earlier, all I meant to say was, even though you're thesource of all our problems, – That's not making it better.
– Let me finish.
Regardless of all that, I think you do mean well in your own weird way.
And you two, I've knownEggie for a very long time and I love him, but he's a lazy jerk and you're both too good for him.
– I wasn't done, but yeah, go ahead.
– How about the female paradoxof marriage and independence? – Boring, but speaking ofwomen, how's living with Simone? You still trying to date your sister? – Nah, she really hatedthat fake spider thing.
I thought I'd get a fun rivalry going, but now she mostly just ignores me.
– You're probably better off.
Plus she wasn't your type anyway, right? – I don't know.
I'm not sure I have a type.
– Yeah, who's type was she, Egg? – Either way, you can'tlive with your girlfriend.
That'd be weird.
– It doesn't matter.
Our parents got into afight, which is a bummer, 'cause her mom's the firstperson my dad's liked, since my parents got divorced.
– How's it going with Bel? – Things are going great.
I mean, she's always busywith dance and stuff, but it's cool 'cause I get to skateboard.
So imagine Bel would only be with you if you gave up skateboardingor video games.
– That wouldn't work.
That would be insane.
– That's the situation Jo is in.
She can't have a writing career and fulfill the duties of a wife.
But if she doesn't marry, she can't have a family or own land.
– What? That's insane and so unfair.
– Five six, seven, eight.
One two around, one push, push, push, push, and one.
– That's great.
– Huh? I know you have an opinion.
– What? It's cool.
– But? – But I've seen that styleabout a million times.
– Well, that's just expected.
– Just saying.
Skateboarders normallyhave a distinct style or trick that they use.
Even coders have a signature that they use to sign stuff with.
Like having a brand.
– So you're saying weneeded a stronger brand? – Oh, she's right.
We need a signature move.
Something in the beginningthat's gonna make us pop and show who we are.
– See, she gets it.
– But regionals are inlike a week and a half.
– You were the one trying to push us.
Might as well try, right? – What you really needis something like this.
That girl is fire.
If she can dance like that for Just Dance, then we can learn it too.
– But how? – I know just the person to ask.
(phone tapping) – I heard you guys neededa little dance break.
– Thanks PK.
– I guess I should go now.
– Or, you could stay and dance with us.
♪ Yeah, let me introduceyou to some, to some ♪ ♪ New thangs, ay yo ♪ ♪ New thangs ay, yo ♪ ♪ New thangs ♪ ♪ Bass kick swingin' like I'm Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ Bruce Lee ay yo, Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy ♪ (singing in foreign language) ♪ You know that ♪ ♪ You know that ♪ (singing in foreign language) ♪ Bruce Lee ♪ ♪ Bruce Lee ♪ – Jo loves writing andshe's really good at it.
Just like me with Warcraft and Minehunter.
But, except she was born a girl and she's expected of certain things, just like in today's world, we're expected to go to school and write essays even ifwe're not cut out for it.
– Is that the same thing? – Shh, I'm on a flow here, You getting all this, Gus? – Yep.
– So instead of marrying Laurie, she moves to New Yorkand pursues her dream.
Just like what I'm gonnado when I become a famous video gamer, slash skateboarder.
– That's a bit of a stretch.
– So she publishes some stories and eventually becomesa little bit famous.
And once she accomplishes that, she's okay with marrying the old Bear because she no longer hasto choose between a career or a husband because she has both.
– That's actually not all bad.
– Not bad? That was brilliant.
This essay is going to blow Mr.
– It's a good start, but maybe– – Who needs Claire? Gus, you are a genius forseeing my true potential.
Appreciate you, brother.
♪ Just hold my hand on a dark night ♪ ♪ Don't hold me backfrom the spotlight, no ♪ ♪ I know your tired ♪ ♪ Just pick me up in the hard times ♪ ♪ Don't put me down'cause I'm too high, oh ♪ ♪ Know you're tired ♪ ♪ You want someone weak ♪ ♪ So you can feel strong ♪ ♪ You've got to be rightso I must be wrong ♪ ♪ That's all I've known that ♪ ♪ Competition ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Always number one ♪ ♪ Always number one ♪ ♪ Can't face my ambition, yeah ♪ ♪ You can't take me on ♪ ♪ You can't take me on, you can't take me on ♪ ♪ Just hold my hand on a dark night ♪ ♪ You can't even handle ♪ ♪ Don't hold me back from the spotlight ♪ ♪ There's no competition ♪ ♪ Hold my hand on a dark night ♪ ♪ Always number one ♪ ♪ Always number one ♪ ♪ You can't even handle a little ♪ – What's going on in here? – Eggie what are you doing here? – I just came to give my paper to Mr.
Do you have a minute? – I guess so.
– So then Gus made thisconnection to my own life And then it just clicked.
It's probably the bestpaper Mr.
will ever read.
– Gus and Walker helped you write it.
Is that even allowed? – Well, technically Guswrote it with his fingers, but I wrote it with my head.
I'm kind of brilliant.
– Not sure Mr.
willsee it the same way.
– Well, you're missing the point.
I used to think writing was the worst, but today I realize it's kind of fun.
– Well, I'm glad you have funwhile Gus wrote your paper and Claire with servingtime for helping you.
– What, no! I wrote it.
And what does that snobhave to do with it? – She's not a snob, Eggie.
She cared about you andyou took advantage of her.
– So now you're on her side? – Well, if her side isn'tbeing a bad person, then yeah, maybe I am.
– You're the personthat said popular people had to be together.
So if you don't have my back, then why do you evenwant to be my girlfriend? – You're right, Eggie.
I don't want to be yourgirlfriend anymore.
– Well, I don't want to beyour boyfriend anymore either.
– [Harmony] Next week on Chicken Girls.
– Wait, is your mom the Debra Sharp? – The one and only.
– You know what I think? I think Harmony's a Millwood spy who's recruiting you to the team.
(upbeat whimsical music).